Chapter 3 - Begin Your RPing Career

[Sibtain Raza]

Chapter 3

Beginning Your RPing Career

a) Your Writing


1. NO NETSPEAK PLZ, even if you think it makes you 'kewl n ur 1337'
2. Use a normal font size. We all sit rather closely to our screen and can see it reasonably well even when it's not size=12 bold and red.
3. While we're on the subject: Never post in red, turquoise, yellow, white, and other such obnoxious colours. Especially red makes me aggressive these days.
4. Don't write run-on sentences or long-arse posts that aren't split up into paragraphs in regular and frequent enough intervals.
5. DON'T USE CAPS ALL THE TIME. IT'S ANNOYING AND WE'LL STICK A BIG 'UNCOOL' LABEL ON YOU!
6. Use proper punctuation in your posts. We like to be able to tell what is said, thought or just described, and will feel encouraged to RP with you if you write it nicely.
7. Use a spellchecker. Nobody minds a typo here and there, but to have to read something like 'but I watn plya wid yuo adn stuff' is just painful and takes ages to decipher.
b) The RP Itself


1. Never use the word 'Unsort' in an RP. There is no such thing as an Unsort in JK Rowling's Hogwarts. 'Unsort' is a sucky word that's used OOCly. Use it in an RP and I will stick a needle in the voodoo doll that I have of everyone at MH. No kidding. Make that two needles. Dull ones.
2. Stop posting one-liners. Now. Especially when you're replying to a kick-arse post.
3. Do not godmode. Ever.
4. Don't start being a drama queen now. You've made it through the sorting without being one if you followed this guide!
5. Don't EVER post a 'Single & Looking' thread. Ever. Don't. I beg you. Please.
6. Don't EVER post a thread titled 'OMG! He's so hott!!1"
7. You can't know if someone is pureblood or half-blood or Muggle-born at first sight.
8. Remember you're away from home for several months and might just be a little bit homesick at first. Consider it.
9. Don't have hair-dye RPs in Myrtle's bathroom, especially if you're a die-hard pureblood.
10. Don't RP that you're stalked by one or more evil wizards.
11. Don't RP stalking other ickles like some trashy villain with a minority complex.
12. Don't shout all over the place that you want to be a Death Eater when you grow up.
13. Don't shout all over the place that your parents are Death Eaters unless you want the Aurors to hand your parents over to the Dementors.
14. Don't do the 'You belong to me alone and will do whatever I tell you. Muahaha *hack*' routine.
15. Don't speak like a trashy comic villain.
16. Don't RP with yourself (read: your alters).
17. Don't RP with your alters to unravel an intricate plot that belongs in a fanfic and not on a board. Write that fanfic instead.
18. Don't jump into a thread, write long-arse posts, and forget to put in any dialogue or even approaching anyone. You'll scare people away or make them ignore you if you only stare at them… and stare… and stare.
19. Don't RP using any sort of magic that your character is obviously not skilled enough to perform.
20. Don't cast the Unforgivables.
21. Don't conjure up soccer pitches, DJ equipment and similar non-sense.
22. Don't RP that someone enchanted your Muggle CD-player, ghetto-blaster, etc. so it'll function at Hogwarts. It doesn't work because of magic, and applying even more magic to it won't stop that interference.
23. Don't spend more time in the hospital wing than you spend in classes.
24. Don't RP getting almost-killed more than once in your entire career at Hogwarts—unless your name is Harry Potter. In that case you may do it every summer, though only once a year. Understood, Mr Potter?
25. Bloody hell, don't curse in every single post, damnit!
26. When you're in an RP with a few other people, it's extremely rude of you if you add your point of view as soon as one other person has posted, so that every other post in the thread is one of yours. Behaviour like this alienates us all.
27. Never ever post song lyrics in your posts. It's especially tar-and-feather-worthy if you leave in stuff like 'repeat chorus x2'. Just do not EVER do this.
28. Never ever have your character perfectly perform the Phantom of the Opera song (or any such thing) and especially not in the forbidden forest. It's not only unrealistic but also bad for a child's voice to be introduced to the really high notes too early.
29. Never have dates in the forbidden forest. I mean, how stupid do you have to be to make it a double-date with Mosag and Morag?
30. Any and all things reminiscent of pseudo-wiccan rituals, anything and everything that involves circles, candles and perhaps pentagrams should never be done. Not anywhere. Especially not the forest.
31. You should never practice a musical instrument in the forest. How many spiders do you want to alert to the presence of your juicy self? Not to mention that it's extremely Mary Suishly cheesy when you play that instrument perfectly. The younger a character who does that, the more Mary Sue they are.
32. It IS a wise thing to keep in mind what your character knows, does not know, has seen and has not seen in his/her life. RPing being curious, fascinated or surprised by a centaur, a bowtruckle or any other creature/critter is way better than to know everything. Even if you grew up in a magical household, I'm sure that you can't have met, e.g. a centaur face to face that easily. Your character should never know everything that you know.